Bumper Nuts

Honestly, what are people thinking?  Please understand, I am no prude.  I can cuss any sailor under the table but there is a time and place for everything; a time to curse, a time to bitch slap someone, and a time to just roll the eyes. Not that I am proposing that all this is good and right, it isn't.  My point is, it takes a lot to make me blush. Never, ever is there a time to drive an SUV with testicles hanging off your car hitch!  Ever!! Today, this jaded lady experienced a shocking vision as she drove to work minding her own business.

I40 was humming along when what to my wandering eyes should appear but a big ole SUV with what appeared to be testicles hanging off the hitch.  I raced to get a closer look; I wanted to see it up close and then try to figure out its purpose.  OMG!  That's what they were!  Why would anyone ride around with this appendage dangling in the wind? My next thought was that I had to see the Billy Bob driving this vehicle. Again, I put my Charger in gear, saddled up next to the SUV with the neutered (or is it spade) hitch, and there she was.  The driver looked like someone's grandmother wearing pearls and hair teased and coiffed to perfection.

Who are these people?  In creating a story, in my mind, for Granny Winnie Bob, I missed my exit to work amazed at my assumption that surely the person driving this SUV had mutton chops, flannel shirt and a belly rubbing up against the steering wheel.  And here is what is even more amazing there are several web sites that sell these "Bumper Nuts."  Big ass trucks need big bumper nuts to let the world know that the driver has big ones too.  Clever and emotional advertisement indeed.  If you do not believe me, go to http://www.bumpernuts.com/index.html.

As to Winnie Bob, I decided that her car is in the shop and she is driving her son's car to work or she got into a fight last night with her husband Bobby Wayne and well, I think you know the rest of the story.